Key Lime Not Sublime in Fall
A girl leans against a rail while wearing fall clothing. Most fall clothing consists of orange, red and brown, the same color the leaves change to during the months before winter. (Provided/Pixabay.com)
Twenty-two-year-old Jessi Laine made a life-changing decision yesterday to wear her favorite lime green shirt in the middle of fall, shocking the Edmond community.
“I threw orange paint on her the other day, and not in a fun way, a totally serious way,” said Dan Laine, Jessi’s father.
“Orange, re, and brown. These are the colors you wear during fall,” said Anna Belle, Laine’s best friend before the incident. “When I saw her shirt, it was disgusting. I had to cancel all of my plans and spend the rest of my day at Bed Bath and Beyond. That place makes makes me feel so much better after a long and difficult day like today.”
Laine had originally planned on matching her wardrobe with the colors of the season, but she saw her lime green shirt and decided against it. She stated that she felt adventurous.
“That’s just it, I decided not to. Didn’t realize I would receive so much hate,” said Laine. “My own dad threw orange paint all over me and then he started calling me a disgusting pig. He even took it a step further by making pig noises at me while holding up his nose like a pig. I would say it was definitely too far.”
A recent article in Vogue Magazine found that those who tend to wear orange, red and brown during the fall season have better chances of blending in with the foliage a lot better.
“You’re supposed to wear the colors of the season,” said Belle. “That way, whenever you find foliage outside, you can blend in with it a whole lot better.”
Austin Farraday, one of the leading scientists at the Edmond Ivy League College University (EILCU) decided to wear colors that Vogue Magazine suggested and test out their transparency with the foliage outside.
“If my calculations are correct, Ms. Laine will need to immediately start wearing fall colors again,” said Farraday. “You should always listen to Vogue Magazine when it tells you to blend in with fall foliage.”
Farraday and a few of his scientists went out into a wooded glen to test out their hypothesis. Farraday began wearing Vogue’s Chanel Fall 2017 Couture Collection and hiding out in the woods.
“My scientists had the task of trying to find me,” said Farraday. “The results were outstanding, they could never find me. Literally, I was lost for six days out in those woods. I only survived those six days because I used the Chanel Fall 2017 Couture Collection to survive. So, fall colors are perfect for this time of year, especially if you get lost in the woods with women’s clothing.”
I was lost in the woods for six days!! Thankful for women’s clothing…listen, you need to wear fall colors, it could save your life! pic.twitter.com/8TlMyyGW9Q
— Austin Faraday (@EILCU) November 13, 2017
Laine refuses to wear fall colors, even though scientific evidence provides proof that fall colors provide safety during this time of year.
“I actually felt pretty safe in my lime green shirt, especially after my dad threw orange paint on it,” said Laine. “I was like a traffic cone at night, people could see me for miles. As for Anna, she can suck an egg, all she wants to do is go to Bed Bath and Beyond and buy fresh linens.”